Since time began, olives have fed and sustained zillions. With their plump goodness and vibrant colors, even squirrels can be found enjoying them. In fact, the famous Squirrel Wars of 1544 were waged over the ownership and marketing of the worlds favorite hors d'eoeuvre. While sqiurrels much preferred olives sans accompaniment, the ravens and crows insisted on topping pizzas with olives, smashing them to bits to make tapenade and detracting from their goodness, in the eyes - or tongues, as it were - of the squirrels. Since many lives were lost, both furry and feathered, and an agreement could not be reached as to how to serve olives, a temporary truce that still holds - though precariously - was enacted. Both sides agreed to delay fighting for five hundred years, hoping that in the meantime, the other speices would become extinct. With only a few decades to go, and neither species anywhere near dying out - battle plans are being drawn up and armor is being forged to prepare for what is likely to be the bloodiest battle ever fought. Tickets go on sale Friday.
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